I'm doing much better, thank you.
Today I had an appointment with my doctor, for some chest/back/neck pains I've been having. During the visit she asked me a simple question, if I was experiencing any severe anxiety or depression. To my surprise, I started to get all cloudy-eyed when she asked, no one ever has. I had to snap out of it to answer, thinking about it more might've produced a real tear, maybe more. I was a bit taken aback when she asked, but almost thankful at the same time. Yes, of course I have my friends who I'm close with and want to know what's going on, but no one lately has really truly wondered how I've been or maybe they have... Even if someone did ask, would I tell them that right now, that lately balancing a full load at work, school, driving to and from school, family, more school, friends and what little social life I have along with everything in between is sucking the happiness (if that's what it's called) right out of me... that lately I just want to stop. I'm tired. I want to quit school. I want to take a vacation far away. I want to sleep... sleep... sleep. The way she looked at me, so honest about wanting to know, it was real & I appreciated it.
Black Friday is the unofficial kickoff to the holiday shopping season. When are you planning on beginning your holiday shopping?
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Don't even remind me...
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What’s the first thing you do when you log on to your computer every day?
I immediately open up outlook. And then open up IE to check on Vox and LJ. Pandion, our internal IM service is also on auto when I log in.
What’s the perfect gift to give to the person who has everything?
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The gift of love and friendship
I still smell like him. This morning I volunteered to pick up some binders Cel forgot at Grace UMC from yesterday's camp meeting. Came in as the choir was practicing for that Sunday's worship service and my dad's oldest living brother, Uncle Johnny, was there preparing for their Bible study session. As soon as I said hello and gave him a hug, his scent of cologne clung to my hoodie... so much that I can still smell it on me, a whole day of events later. That particular scent and Uncle Johnny all together remind me of his dad... my Apong Lakay. The two of them, rarely ever in public and not looking sharp, just like Uncle this morning with his brown tweed suit, shirt and tie. Same with my Apong, his picture on my desk as I type this, from the early 80s... brown wide-lapel coat with tan slacks, a crisp white shirt and a handkerchief peeking out of his jacket pocket. Pangs of nostalgia hit, as I very much miss him and my grandma, her in the photo standing next to him.
Yesterday, as I was leaving my parents' place in Vallejo, it bit... 40 degrees Fahrenheit. I know, I know... it's not much and it'll continue to get colder, but when you're used to a whole 10 degrees warmer (as it was in SF when I got there), it makes a noticeable difference. It's more than the chilly evenings though, fall/autumn... it brings a scent much like the other seasons, yet so clearly distinct. It's a crisp smell that reminds me of Halloween and Thanksgiving with my family, bundling up in my favorite scarf and wool coat, a cup of hot coffee in the morning, and the 5pm darkness... It's my favorite season.
...Joel. I found this card and felt it was for him. Well, more like... I found this card and his birthday was next and I knew he'd appreciate it. And yes if you're wondering, I still got him a little gift inspite of it all... because that's how I do.
